Alright, let’s be real for a minute. You’ve got a storage unit. It’s basically a magic trick for making the clutter in your house disappear. It feels great, right? But I need to give you the quick and dirty on what absolutely, positively should NOT end up in that magic box of yours.

This isn’t just us being fussy. It’s about not burning the place down, not attracting every raccoon and rat within a five-mile radius, and honestly, saving you from a future nightmare.

Think of me as your storage buddy, giving you the inside scoop.

First up: The “This Might Actually Explode” Stuff

Look, we’ve all got that one shelf in the garage with mysterious cans of… stuff. That stuff needs to stay far away from your unit.

• Gasoline: For the lawnmower. I get it. But no. The fumes are a nightmare waiting to happen. The same goes for propane tanks, kerosene, and anything that goes in a lighter. Just don’t.
• Paint thinner, turpentine, that half-can of stain from the deck project: You see the pattern here. If it smells strong and warns you about being flammable, it’s a no.
• Fireworks: I shouldn’t have to say this. But I do. Every year. Please don’t store your leftover fireworks. Or ammunition. They are literally designed to explode. My insurance company has a very strong opinion about this.

Storing this junk isn’t just against the rules; it’s a fast way to make a very, very bad day for everyone here.

Next: The “Critter Buffet”

This is the one that personally drives me nuts. You will not believe what people try to store.

• Food. Any food. Sealed, unsealed, canned, bagged. That big bag of dog food? That Costco-sized pack of ramen? That’s not storage, my friend. That’s you throwing a free opening night party for every mouse in the county.
• They will smell it. They will chew through your cardboard boxes, your plastic totes, and then your neighbor’s boxes to get to it. They’ll move in, have babies, and suddenly your unit—and maybe the ones around it—are a biohazard. It’s a disaster. Just eat the ramen. Or donate it.

We pay a small fortune for pest control to keep this place clean. Don’t undo all that work by turning your unit into a rodent restaurant.

The “Seriously, Don’t Be That Person” Section

• People and Pets: I wish this weren’t on the list. But it is. A storage unit is a concrete box. It’s not a home. It has no air. It gets dangerously hot or cold. It is never, ever okay for a living creature to be in there. Ever.
• Wet Things: Did you just pressure wash your patio furniture? Dry it. Totally, completely dry. Did you just clean a rug? Dry it. A damp kayak? Dry. It. Moisture in a closed space equals mold. And mold is a monster that will spread to everything you love and ruin it. It’s a heartbreak waiting to happen.

And Finally: The “You’ll Hate Yourself Later” Stuff

This is me looking out for you, not just our building.

• The truly irreplaceable things: The physical photo albums from before cloud storage. Your grandma’s handwritten recipes. Your kid’s first stuffed animal. Look, our place is secure, but it’s not Fort Knox. For your own peace of mind, keep that stuff somewhere you can see it. A storage unit is for things you need, not for things you love.
• Important papers: Your passport, your birth certificate, the deed to your house. Imagine you need one of those next week. Now imagine digging through 200 boxes to find it. Sounds awful, right? Keep that stuff in a fireproof box at home.

Honestly, the whole point of using a place like ours is for peace of mind. You want to know your stuff is safe, dry, and exactly where you left it. We want that for you, too. That’s why we have these rules. They’re not to hassle you; they’re to make sure that when you unlock that door six months from now, everything is exactly as you hoped it would be.

If you’re ever staring at something and thinking, “Hmmm, I wonder…” just give us a shout. We’d rather you ask than make a mistake you’ll regret.